Does Your Partner Refuse to Work on Your Relationship? Try These Tips


relationshipAre you having challenges with your relationship? Relationships do require a bit of maintenance to keep that spark alive, but what do you do if you’re the only one trying to make your relationship work?

Is it just a lost cause?

Take heart! Luckily, there are strategies you can use to strengthen your relationship anyway! Find out how to move forward even if your partner is reluctant to join you or work on the issues together.

If you’re struggling to work on your relationship without your partner’s cooperation, these ideas may help:

1. Start therapy without them.If you want to start couple’s therapy, but your partner refuses to come with you, then you can proceed without them. The change in your relationship can start with you.

  • You can still make progress in therapy and learn new ways to approach your relationship issues. Then, share these ideas with your partner outside of therapy. You can influence your partner as you change.
  • Your partner may become curious about what you’re learning and decide to join you.

2. Try therapy alternatives.Therapy certainly may help, but it’s not the only option for healing your relationship. There are multiple alternatives.

  • One alternative is to seek out a mutual friend or family member who would be willing to serve as a mediator. It’s important to find an unbiased person who understands your relationship and is willing to get involved.
  • You can also decide to work on your issues together through weekly talks. These weekly meetings will give you the chance to work on your relationship.

3. Reframe your arguments. One of the most common complaints among couples is that they seem to have the same arguments over and over again with no resolution.

  • Instead of being pulled into another angry and resentful argument about the dishes or kids, stop and make changes. It takes both of you to argue. You can refuse to participate in the argument or discuss the issue until your partner is ready to work on the relationship. Walk away or even leave the house.

4. Do things you both enjoy.Your partner may not want to talk about, or deal with, your relationship issues, but they may still be willing to join you in a hobby or favorite activity. Whether you both love to hike, swim, or paint, fun activities can bring you back together.

  • The key is to do things that you both love.If one of you hates to cook or despises dancing, then these types of activities will make you miserable. Find activities that you both enjoy and then enjoy them together.
  • Positive shared time can make a big difference in your lives. During these activities, you may find a new way to work through your relationship challenges. You could discover untapped strength, courage, and ideas. You might even find that you’re ready to give yourselves another chance to find solutions that work for you.

Relationships require ongoing work and commitment. If your partner doesn’t want to work on your relationship, these techniques might just be the ticket to renew your love.

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