Relationships are a cornerstone of our lives, offering connection, support, and joy. However, not all relationships are created equal. Some nurture and uplift us, while others may drain our energy and erode our confidence. Understanding the difference between a healthy and unhealthy relationship is essential for your emotional well-being and personal growth.

In this post, we’ll explore the characteristics of healthy relationships, the warning signs of unhealthy ones, and how to take action to improve your relationship or move forward with clarity.

The Signs of a Healthy Relationship

A healthy relationship is a partnership built on mutual respect, trust, and open communication. Here are some of the key hallmarks of a positive and fulfilling relationship:

1. Mutual Respect: Both partners value each other’s opinions, boundaries, and individuality. They support each other’s goals and growth without undermining one another.
2. Trust and Honesty: In a healthy relationship, both individuals can rely on each other without fear of deceit or betrayal. Transparency builds a strong foundation of trust.
3. Open Communication: Healthy relationships thrive on honest and constructive communication. Both partners feel safe expressing their thoughts and emotions without fear of judgment or retaliation.
4. Equality: A balanced relationship ensures that decisions, responsibilities, and contributions are shared equitably, fostering a sense of partnership.
5. Support and Encouragement: A healthy partner encourages your personal growth, celebrates your successes, and stands by you during challenges.

The Red Flags of an Unhealthy Relationship

In contrast, unhealthy relationships often feature dynamics that can harm your emotional or physical well-being. Warning signs to watch for include:

1. Control and Manipulation: One partner may attempt to dominate decisions, isolate the other, or control their actions, often under the guise of love or care.
2. Lack of Respect: Disrespect may manifest as belittling, dismissing opinions, or ignoring boundaries, creating a toxic environment.
3. Poor Communication: Instead of addressing issues openly, unhealthy relationships often involve passive-aggressive behaviour, constant arguments, or complete avoidance of difficult conversations.
4. Jealousy and Possessiveness: While occasional jealousy is normal, excessive suspicion or possessiveness can erode trust and foster insecurity.
5. Emotional or Physical Abuse: Any form of abuse—be it verbal, emotional, or physical—is a clear indicator of an unhealthy relationship and should never be tolerated.

Taking Action: Steps to Build or Heal a Relationship

If you’ve recognised signs of an unhealthy dynamic, it’s crucial to address the situation with care and intention. Here’s how:

• Reflect and Assess: Consider whether the relationship aligns with your values and emotional well-being. Use the points above to identify areas of concern.
• Communicate: Openly discuss your concerns with your partner. Honest communication is the first step towards healing and building trust.
• Seek Help: If challenges persist, consider seeking support from a therapist or counsellor. Professional guidance can help navigate complex dynamics and promote healthier interactions.
• Set Boundaries: Healthy boundaries protect your emotional health and ensure mutual respect. Be clear about your needs and non-negotiables.
• Know When to Walk Away: If efforts to improve the relationship fail or abuse is present, prioritise your safety and well-being by stepping away.

Practical Exercise: Relationship Reflection

Take time to evaluate your current or past relationships. Reflect on whether they exhibit the characteristics of a healthy or unhealthy dynamic. Use this insight to identify areas for growth or necessary changes, and discuss your findings with a trusted friend or professional if needed.

Join the Conversation

Building healthy relationships is an ongoing journey. If you’d like to share your thoughts or experiences—or seek advice—join the conversation in the Building and Sustaining Love in Personal Relationships forum. We’d love to hear from you!

The post Is Your Relationship Healthy? Signs to Look For appeared first on DuckboardsAndStilts.com.

1. Trust: The Cornerstone of Any Relationship

Trust is the bedrock of every healthy relationship. It’s about believing in your partner’s reliability and integrity, knowing they have your best interests at heart. Trust is cultivated over time through consistent actions, honesty, and transparency. Without it, doubts and insecurities can creep in, threatening the stability of your bond.

2. Respect: The Glue That Holds a Partnership Together

Mutual respect allows couples to value each other’s feelings, thoughts, and boundaries. It means treating your partner with kindness and consideration, even during disagreements. Respect creates a safe space where both individuals feel valued and supported, strengthening the connection between them.

3. Emotional Intimacy: The Key to Deep Connection

Emotional intimacy goes beyond physical attraction; it’s about sharing your fears, dreams, and vulnerabilities. This type of connection requires open communication and empathy, allowing both partners to feel understood and cared for. Emotional intimacy deepens through shared experiences and meaningful conversations, forming the emotional glue of a relationship.

4. Commitment: The Willingness to Grow Together

Love requires more than just feelings—it demands commitment. This involves a dedication to working through challenges, supporting each other’s growth, and nurturing the relationship consistently. Commitment helps couples weather life’s storms, ensuring their bond remains strong and unshakable.

Bringing It All Together

When trust, respect, emotional intimacy, and commitment come together, they form a relationship that not only survives but thrives. These pillars create a partnership rooted in love, understanding, and shared purpose, offering both partners the opportunity to grow individually and together.

Join the Conversation

Have you reflected on how these pillars play a role in your relationship? Share your experiences and thoughts in the Building and Sustaining Love in Personal Relationships forum. Let’s learn and grow together!

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Try these strategies: 

1. Make a list of every partner you’ve ever had. Include those that you only dated for a short period of time. Go all the way back to high school. Take your time and make a complete list. 

2. Make a list of the positive attributes you’d like to see in your next partner. You can do this by reviewing the list you just made and asking yourself what you liked about that particular person. Was it his sense of humor and his blue eyes? Or was it her sense of morality and the fact that she liked to watch football? 

• Be thorough. Pour yourself a glass of wine and give this step the attention it deserves. You might have 30 attributes or more. 

3. Consider the qualities you don’t want in your next partner. Avoiding the negative is just as important as acquiring the positive. Go back through your list in step one. Did he always put his career first and didn’t have enough time for you? Did she spend too much time with her mother? Did he or she have their friends over every day? Was he a slob? Was she unstable? 

4. Make a best of the best list. So you know you would like a guy that has a great sense of humor. Of all the men you know, who has the best sense of humor? It could even be a character from TV, the movies, or a book. Define for yourself what the perfect sense of humor is with a concrete example. 

• Do this for all the positive qualities you listed in the first step. 

5. Make a plan to find this incredible person. Look at your desired characteristics and think about where this person might spend their time. A brainy woman might play chess, take night classes, or spend time at the bookstore. An athletic man probably plays recreational sports and spends time at the gym. 

6. Give online dating a fair chance. Online dating has a few big advantages. There are lot of people with the same goal, and they’re right in front of you. You can also approach them via online message, eliminating the terror that comes with approaching a stranger in public. You can go through a lot of profiles while watching a movie from the comfort of your couch. 

• Stay on task. Look for signs of your desirable attribute list. Avoid those profiles that demonstrate one or more of your undesired traits. 
• Set a goal for how many people you’ll contact each day. Keep the number small. You’ll find that you can’t juggle very many at once. You might lose a great potential partner if you’re too distracted by too many emails. 

7. Meet people in person. At some point, the relationship has to move beyond the computer and your cell phone. Be careful, but be brave, too. 

8. Keep your eyes open. The cute man or woman in line with you at the grocery store might be the one. All you have to do is open your mouth and say “hi.” 

It can be a little depressing to spend Valentine’s day alone. 

It can also be a great opportunity to take action and begin the process of finding someone new. Instead of sitting at home feeling sorry for yourself and eating too much junk food, take control of the situation by beginning the search for your perfect partner. 

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Is his cute smile worth living in Nebraska when you dream of living in Chicago? Does her sense of humor make her $140,000 of student loan debt worth it? 

There’s a lot more to consider than just how enjoyable it is to be around someone right now. Your life will change. Is this the right person for the long haul? 

A long talk before marriage can prevent challenges down the road and help encourage an eventual transformation from infatuation to a deeper love. 

Discuss these issues with your significant other before marriage: 

1. Where will you live? City or country? Condo or house? In the same town as your mother-in-law or far, far away. You spend most of your time in and around your home. 

• Where you live has a huge impact on your life. Are you both on the same page? The only way to know for certain is to talk about it. 

2. Who will clean what? What is the division of household labor? Will the man of the house do the repairs, mow the grass, change the oil in the cars, and pick up the dog poop? Who cooks? Who cleans? Is everything 50-50? There’s no right or wrong answer, but it helps if you both agree. 

3. How much debt do you each have? Financial issues are the most common marriage challenge. How much debt do you each have? How willing are you to deal with your future spouse’s debt? How willing are they to deal with yours? Are you both going to be responsible for your own debt? What’s the plan? 

4. Children. Do you both want children? If so, how many? If your answers aren’t in the same ballpark, you might have huge challenges ahead. Never assume that your partner will change their mind to accommodate you in the future. It’s a dangerous game to play. 

5. Friends. Will you be joined at the hip with your spouse, or will you both be free to spend time with your separate friends? Some people love having time alone. Others don’t trust their spouse to be out with the boys/girls without their presence. 

6. Spending. Some people like to save. Others love to spend. It can be difficult for people that don’t agree on this matter to get along in the long term. Make a plan that works for both of you. 

7. Bank accounts. Separate? Joint? A joint account to pay the bills, but also an individual account for each? Who is going to pay for what? Will it be 50-50? Or will the bigger earner pay a greater percentage of the bills? 

8. Religion. Some people aren’t interested in going to church every week. Others are serious about their participation in church services. There might be different religions to consider, too. Will you go to separate churches? Will one of you go to church while the other prefers to stay home? 

9. Sex. It all comes down to a question of style and frequency. In most marriages, the issue is more likely to be frequency. Do you have similar sexual appetites? 

10. Neatness. It’s very challenging for a very neat person to live with a messy person. For best results, work out this issue before marriage so there are no surprises. 

Marriage can be a wonderful thing! It can be a nightmare, too. It’s important to do everything you can to ensure that you’re capable of making each other happy for many years to come. Discuss these important issues before deciding to tie the knot. 

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It’s natural to be excited about a new romance. You want to spend each day together, and you start dreaming about your future. Before you know it, you lose track of your own identity and neglect your family and friends. 

Learn how to stay grounded in reality when you feel like you’re falling in love. Try these tips for staying true to yourself as you welcome a new partner into your life. 

Steps to Take Yourself: 

1. Love yourself. You’re less likely to lose yourself in a relationship if you already value who you are. Increase your self-awareness and self-esteem by living mindfully and making choices that align with your core values. 

2. Continue socializing. Keep spending time with family and friends. Visit your parents and schedule standing coffee dates with your pals. Encourage your new love interest to do the same. Your relationship will be stronger if you avoid placing excessive demands on each other. 

3. Pursue your interests. You can love each other even if you prefer different kinds of music and restaurants. Carry on with your hobbies and passion projects. Go kayaking while your significant other volunteers for a political campaign. 

4. Concentrate at work. Your performance may suffer if you spend too much time texting or fantasizing about your future children. Plan your workday and complete your tasks. 

5. Set individual goals. Ensure that your life has a purpose bigger than any single relationship. Think about your spiritual development and the legacy you want to create. 

6. Maintain boundaries. Honor your own needs. Explain how you want to be treated and let others know the consequences for exceeding your limits. 

7. Spend time alone. You’ll probably make wiser decisions about relationships if you can enjoy your own company. Stay home one evening a week. Enjoy some solo activities each weekend. Give yourself a few spa treatments or read a long novel. 

8. Consider counseling. Childhood experiences and other factors may interfere with your ability to find the love you deserve. If you need more help, talk with a therapist who specializes in relationships. 

Steps to Take with Your Significant Other: 

1. Slow down. Resist the urge to spend every moment together after a promising first date. Get to know each other gradually. Put off making any major decisions until your relationship is on firmer ground. 

2. Listen closely. Your date may be wonderful, but they have weaknesses and quirks just like the rest of humanity. Pay attention to the evidence. Discuss important issues like how you feel about parenting and managing money. 

3. Expect conflict. New couples sometimes avoid any subjects that could undermine their infatuation. In reality, your relationship is more likely to thrive if you learn to work out your differences with kindness and respect. 

4. Coordinate communications. How many phone calls a day are you comfortable with? Negotiate a schedule that makes you both feel connected without becoming overwhelmed. 

5. Seek balance. Relationships are rarely completely equal. One partner may love the other more or have more influence. However, you can strive for reciprocity and mutual support. Divide chores and other responsibilities. Pool your strengths and appreciate the contributions that you both make to your life together. 

Holding on to your individuality creates a stronger foundation for love and intimacy. You can be yourself while being part of a couple. Your life will be fuller, and your relationships will be more satisfying. 

The post Read This Before You Lose Yourself in a Relationship appeared first on DuckboardsAndStilts.com.

Certainly, your boundaries have been violated at some point in your life. Maybe a partner used language that was unacceptable toward you. Perhaps someone invaded your privacy by asking you a personal question you considered inappropriate. 

What are your boundaries? How do you show others where you draw the line? Once your lines are clear, they benefit you and those around you. 

Consider these areas in determining your personal boundaries: 

1. Physical boundaries. Physical boundaries include space. There are certain people whom you feel comfortable standing much closer to than others. Your partner can stand closer to you than a friend, and a friend closer than a coworker. Maybe a coworker can stand closer than a stranger. 

• Touch. There are certain people you allow to touch you, and others you do not. Some people can touch in some places, and others not so much. There are more people you’ll shake hands with than you’ll allow to touch your face or an intimate part of your body. 
• Violence. Is grabbing aggressively okay? Hitting? 

2. Privacy. What are you willing to share with a particular person? Financial information? Health issues? Family issues? Your hopes and fears? 

• There’s information that you’re willing to share with some people and not with others. 
• There are also topics you don’t want to hear about from certain people. For example, you probably don’t want to hear about your mom’s sexual escapades or your boss’s hemorrhoids. 
• Do you expect your secrets to be respected? Do you respect the secrets and privacy of others? 

3. Language. Do you allow others to curse around you? Sometimes? Who? How do you allow others to speak to you? Do you allow them to criticize you? How much disrespect do you permit? Would you allow someone to yell at you? 

These are just three types of boundaries. What other boundaries can you think of? 

• Punctuality. How long will you wait for someone before you feel disrespected? 
• Borrowing and sharing items. Would you loan someone your lawnmower? Allow them to eat french fries off your plate? Loan them money? 
• Meeting your kids. When is meeting your kids acceptable? 
• Coming to your workplace. Do you allow your friends and family to come to your workplace? 
• Other boundaries? 

Making your boundaries clear to others: 

1. Be patient and fair. It’s not fair to expect anyone to read your mind. At the same time, you shouldn’t have to tell anyone that punching you in the face is off limits. 

• You can state many of your boundaries up front. But some of your boundaries with a specific person won’t be identified until they’re crossed. Be patient. It will take time for the other person to discover all of your boundaries. 

2. Be assertive when your boundaries are crossed.When someone crosses one of your boundaries, calmly and clearly explain what you expect from them in that situation. 

3. Be willing to say, “no.” Let others know when you don’t have the interest or time to do something. It’s okay to decline offers. People respect someone who is willing to say “no” once in a while. 

4. Avoid feeling guilty. It’s rare that someone’s boundaries are too strict or are unreasonable. The opposite is usually true. There’s no reason to feel guilty about having whatever boundaries you choose to have. Others will adapt. 

5. Be honest about what you need from others.What you need is another type of boundary. It’s the minimum you’re willing to tolerate in order to maintain the relationship. It’s a minimum boundary instead of a maximum boundary. 

All relationships have boundaries, but all relationships and boundaries are unique. 

While some of your boundaries may apply to all relationships, other boundaries will vary greatly. 

Your relationships fulfill a purpose in your life. The cost of having that purpose fulfilled is too great if it means sacrificing your boundaries in the process. 

The post The Value of Healthy Boundaries in All of Your Relationships appeared first on DuckboardsAndStilts.com.

On a first date, you may be so anxious that it’s difficult to be yourself. You may also be too distracted to listen well. Your next encounter may be your first real opportunity to relax and get to know each other. 

Give second dates the attention they deserve. Try these tips for deciding on second dates and making them successful. 

Deciding If You Want a Second Date 

You still have plenty of time before you need to make any life changing decisions. It may be worth going out again as long as you both like each other even a little. 

Keep these tips in mind: 

1. Lighten up. Do you tend to rehash each moment of a date looking for things you wish you did differently or finding flaws in someone else? Try letting go of minor details. Focus on whether there was any promising chemistry. 

2. Stick to facts. On the other hand, you may be letting your imagination run away with you. Allow more time together before you’ll know if there’s any potential for pursuing a long-term relationship. 

3. Call a friend. It can be difficult to be objective when your emotions are involved. Talk about your experience with family and friends you trust. Their input may help you to make wiser decisions. 

4. Act promptly. Maybe you had a wonderful time, but you panic when it’s time to say goodbye. You’re unsure how your date feels, or you wonder how long to wait before calling them again. Take a risk and suggest a second date. Your enthusiasm may be appreciated. 

Making Your Second Date Successful 

What do you do now that you’ve gotten your first date out of the way and you know a little bit about each other? Have fun and start exploring your compatibility. 

Consider these strategies:

1. Raise the stakes. Was your first meeting a quick cup of coffee? Share a full meal this time or hang out on the weekend when you’ll be able to stay out later. 

2. Prepare for conversation. Keep the dialogue flowing. Have a few subjects ready to make small talk easier. Think about questions you want to ask and what information you’re comfortable sharing. 

3. Follow up. One effective way to show your interest is to continue conversations from your first date. Let them know you care about their sick cat or their recent business trip. 

4. Plan an activity. You might be more comfortable doing something on your date. You can learn about each other while you go kayaking or visit an art museum. 

5. Stick to your budget. Dealing with money issues is part of dating. Avoid the temptation to impress others with lavish spending. Choose activities you can afford. 

6. Pace yourself. Remember that your relationship is still new. Maintain your boundaries and respect your date’s feelings. Continue to protect your safety by meeting in public places, especially if you met online or haven’t known each other for long. 

Second dates can be as exciting as first dates, but with fewer awkward moments. Learning to manage the early stages of a romance will help you to understand what you’re looking for and build a solid foundation for your life as a couple. 

The post Read This Before You Go on a Second Date appeared first on DuckboardsAndStilts.com.

You might sit at home on Saturday nights and refuse to let your friends set you up. On the other hand, you might participate on a dozen dating platforms and meet someone for coffee at least three times a week. 

While these may sound like two opposite extremes, the outcomes are usually the same. Your defenses keep you from developing an intimate relationship. 

Before you can change, it’s important to be aware of how you sabotage your romantic life. Find out what’s keeping you from falling in love. 

Altering Your Thoughts: 

1. Review your history. Think about your childhood and past relationships. Look for defense mechanisms that you formed in your early years and are ready to drop now. Spot patterns that you want to change. 

2. Accept your feelings. A fear of love often involves trying to avoid strong emotions. Remember that running away from sadness also means missing out on joy. 

3. Boost your confidence. Learning to live with strong emotions will make you more resilient. Each time you put yourself in situations that make you anxious, you see proof that you can deal with them successfully. 

4. Watch your self-talk. Are you sending yourself messages that you’re unlovable? Use your inner voice to build yourself up. Speak to yourself with kindness and compassion. 

5. Plan ahead. You’ll feel less anxious if you rehearse the scenarios that make you apprehensive. Practice what you’ll do if someone that you like fails to call you back. You’ll probably realize that the consequences are less serious than you imagine. 

6. Appreciate solitude. Being single is different from being afraid to love. You can still enjoy your own company or search for a partner on your own timeline. 

7. Consider counseling. Relationship issues can involve some of our deepest needs and fears. Talking with a professional could help you make a breakthrough if you feel stuck. 

Adjusting Your Dating Habits: 

1. Clarify your criteria. Overcoming a fear of love requires taking risks, but you can make your odds more favorable. Knowing what you want in a romantic relationship will help you to make rational decisions and choose compatible partners. 

2. Open up. Close connections are based on communication. Allow yourself to be vulnerable. Move conversations to a deeper level. Talk about your thoughts and feelings. 

3. Build trust. Maybe you find it difficult to believe in others as well as yourself. Encourage trust by developing relationships based on honesty and mutual respect. Some imbalances are natural, but each half of a couple needs to be willing to give and take. 

4. Take a deep breath. Does dating make you so nervous that you start perspiring and babbling? Learning to relax will make things more pleasant for you and your dates. Try meditating daily or listening to soothing music before you leave home. 

5. Double date. Study a role model. Have dinner with a couple whose relationship you admire. Observe their interactions and adapt some of their methods to suit your own style. 

6. Start small. Meeting someone’s family may still seem overwhelming, but you can practice your new relationship skills in situations where you feel more secure. Talk about your feelings with a close friend or write them down in a journal. 

7. Support others. Fears about intimacy are widespread, so you’ll find plenty of opportunities to help yourself by helping others. Focus on trying to help your date feel more relaxed. 

Looking for love can make you feel uncomfortable, and you may even get your heart broken. However, the alternative is missing out on the intimacy and companionship you want and deserve. Remember that you have enough wisdom and strength to develop a healthy romantic relationship. 

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In fact, the average couple waits four years to end a dysfunctional relationship, according to one survey by eHarmony. Meanwhile, the effects of staying with an incompatible partner may be more serious than you think. 

Consider these thoughtful tips for what to do if you’re in a relationship that may be harming your overall wellbeing. 

Build Your Self-Esteem 

Relationship troubles can undermine your confidence. Believing in yourself will make it easier to recognize your options and move forward as a couple or on your own. 

Practicing these strategies will help you raise your self-esteem: 

1. Set goals. Go beyond your comfort zone and give yourself something to strive for. With each new accomplishment, you’ll realize how strong and resilient you really are. 

2. Practice self-care. Honor your needs. Eat a nutritious diet and stay physically active. Find a hobby that allows you to express your creativity. Develop rituals that maintain your spiritual health. 

3. Seek support. Reach out to family and friends. Share your thoughts and feelings. Let them know how they can assist you. 

4. Help others. Generosity can transform your life. Focusing on others changes your perspective on your own situation. Your sense of fulfillment will grow. 

Set and Maintain Healthy Boundaries

Does your partner criticize you unfairly or give you the silent treatment? Advocating for yourself can help you to cope while you make longer-term plans. Use these tips to maintain healthy boundaries: 

1. Change your response. Pick a quiet time to talk with your partner about how you expect to be treated. Otherwise, you may inadvertently contribute to your mistreatment by trying to ignore the situation or becoming overwhelmed by your emotions. 

2. Aim for consistency. Determine the consequences for violating your boundaries and stick to them. For example, you might set a daily limit for nonemergency calls and texts. 

3. Deal with retaliation. What if your partner blocks your efforts? At some point, you may want to consider whether the negatives outweigh the positives for you. You’ll struggle to find happiness in a relationship that compromises your values. 

Creating an Exit Strategy if You Need It 

Many studies suggest that being single is healthier than being in an unhappy relationship. If you’re ready to say goodbye, think through your decision carefully and make concrete plans to address any obstacles in your way. 

These tips will help: 

1. Take accountability. Be honest about the role you played in the decline of your relationship. Evaluating your behavior may help you to form healthier connections in the future. 

2. Be civil. Treat your partner with kindness and respect. If possible, break up with them face to face. Give them an opportunity to speak their mind and let them know that you appreciate the time you spent together. 

3. Negotiate co-parenting. Splitting up is more complicated when children are involved. However, you can continue being loving and responsible parents without living under the same roof. Call a community helpline to find out about co-parenting classes and support groups in your area. 

4. Arrange your finances. You may also share a house with your partner or depend on them for income. Start calculating your budget for independent living, so you can get a head start on cutting your expenses and increasing your earnings. 

5. Try counseling. If you need more help, contact a therapist who specializes in relationships. Ask family and friends for referrals or call the psychology department at your local university. 

With work, it’s sometimes possible to turn a difficult relationship around. These tips can help. 

Sometimes however, depending on your situation, the unfortunate reality may be that you cannot turn it around. 

Ending a difficult relationship is difficult in itself, but it also sets you free to find the love you deserve. You’ll have more time and energy for making positive changes and creating the life you really want. 

Seek counseling and other support during this difficult time. It will help you to sort out your feelings and issues, so you can follow the path that is best for you. 

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Broken hearts are painful, but they are temporary. It takes a lot of pain and effort to maintain a broken heart over a long period of time. The most effective solution is to move on and embrace life again. What other option do you really have? 

Use these strategies to move forward: 

1. Focus on your own needs. This is the ideal time to work on yourself. You can focus on your own needs and reinvent yourself to your liking. It’s the perfect time to lose a few pounds, get a new wardrobe, or to take salsa lessons. 

2. Make some exciting plans. Heartbreak is partly due to a diminished view of the future. Give yourself something new to look forward to. It could be a trip to Rome or a new car. Have plans for your future that motivate and excite you. 

3. Reconnect with friends and family. This can also be a good time to get back in touch with the friends and family members you may have been neglecting. Get back together with the old gang and create some new memories. 

4. Remove all reminders. You might think you need to keep those old photographs of your ex, but they’re only creating pain and prolonging your recovery. Put all those mementos in a box and stick it in the attic. You can laugh about keeping it in a few years. Out of sight, out of mind. At least, that’s what they say. 

5. Laugh. Laughter can help heal a broken heart. Rent a few funny movies, go to a comedy show, or hang out with your funniest friend. Do whatever it takes to laugh. Maybe it’s time to acquaint yourself with Seinfeld reruns. 

6. Try something new. Make a few changes, and you’ll feel better. 

• Take on a new hobby.
• Go to a new restaurant.
• Rearrange your furniture.
• Find a new job.
• Learn how to paint or weld. 

7. Help someone else. When you help others, you take your attention off of yourself for a while. It’s a nice break from your sorrow. You might also see that things could be a lot worse. 

• Look for someplace to volunteer that’s close to your home. The closer it is to your house, the more likely you are to do it regularly. 

8. Exercise. Exercise has so many benefits for the body and mind. It uplifts your mood and strengthens your health. You might lose a few pounds, too. That can be great for your self-esteem. It’s possible that you could find a new exercise buddy, too. 

9. Avoid ruminating.Ruminating is a sure path to suffering longer than necessary. Consciously keep your mind in the present. When the past creeps in, redirect your thoughts to something positive in your present. 

A broken heart can feel like the end of the world, but it will heal. Focus on taking care of your own needs, making positive changes, and reconnecting with old familiar faces. 

Create a vision for the future that makes you feel excited again. Help out someone less fortunate than yourself. You’ll be back on your feet before you know it! 

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Your date’s profile may be a 100% match, but you struggle to make dinner conversation. You may meet someone you’re wild about, but they’re missing most of the qualities on your wish list. 

The truth is that it takes effort and flexibility to nurture a relationship. Still, you’re more likely to succeed if you’re fundamentally compatible. Use this list to make your romantic life more harmonious. 

Compatible Values 

Values are a top priority because they shape your identity and guide your actions. You’re more likely to grow in the same direction if you share similar beliefs. 

Try these techniques for compatible values: 

1. Make a list. How much do you know about your own values? Spend time thinking about what matters to you and how you define a meaningful life. Your core values might include respect, kindness, integrity, and achievement. 

2. Express your needs. Sometimes we try to conceal what we need in order to seem more agreeable in the early days of dating. Be fair to others and yourself by being honest from the start. 

3. Practice your faith. Interreligious marriages can work out. However, it’s important for you and your partner to be able to respect each other’s commitments and feel authentic following your own path. 

4. Support each other. Your values will evolve and run into challenges. Working as a team and empathizing with each other can keep you united. 

Compatible Lifestyles 

On a practical level, you’ll probably have fewer conflicts if you can accommodate each other’s daily routines without major compromises. That can make the remaining give and take easier. 

Consider these ideas: 

1. Define your relationship. Are you hoping to get married or would you be happy living together long term? Do you envision an equal partnership or another arrangement? Ensure that your relationship goals are aligned. 

2. Discuss family planning. It will be difficult to stay together if there are major differences in your views about parenting. It also helps to have a cordial relationship with your future in-laws. 

3. Manage your money.The way you handle your finances will have a major impact on your future. Before making a commitment, share your financial history and your philosophy about spending, saving, and earning. 

4. Channel your ambitions. Having a similar work ethic is an area that’s often overlooked. Otherwise, you might argue about who is lazy and who spends too much time at the office. 

5. Keep house. Chores are often an issue for anyone living under the same roof. Can you share responsibility and find a respectful middle ground if your cleaning standards are worlds apart? 

Compatible Interests 

Are different tastes in music really a deal breaker? You might want a partner who loves opera, or you may be able to work around that. Decide which lifestyle aspects are the most important to you. 

Keep these ideas in mind: 

1. Spend time together. Ask yourself what you’re trying to accomplish. Enjoying the same activities can reinforce your friendship and create shared memories. However, you can enjoy each other’s company even when you’re working on different projects. 

2. Share goals. Achievements like raising money for charity or learning new dance steps can draw you closer together too. Find something you both can enjoy. 

3. Call your friends. You’ll be happier and stronger as a couple if you maintain your connection with other family and friends. It can be exhausting to rely on your spouse for all your needs. Share your opera subscription with another aficionado. 

Remember that you deserve love and happiness. There are many singles who could be compatible partners for you if you clarify your expectations and keep an open mind. 

The post 12 Actions That Help You to Find a Compatible Partner appeared first on DuckboardsAndStilts.com.

Learn how to combine these considerations into an online dating strategy that supports your dating goals. 

Follow these timely tips for online dating: 

1. Create an effective bio. It may seem strange or unnatural to have to analyze and critique yourself, but having an empty profile looks suspicious. Spend a little time writing your bio. Include who you are, what you like, and what you’re looking for. 

• If you are unsure of what to write, ask for help from a friend or family member. You might find one who has been through this experience themselves. 

2. Choose the best photos. Ensure that the pictures you use are recent, in focus, and avoid using filters. Your photos should be clear, honest, and show you in the best light. 

3. Refrain from contacting those you meet too frequently. Even if you think you have clicked with someone, it’s important that you avoid contacting them too often. Send them messages approximately as often as they tend to communicate with you. 

• Sending them endless messages throughout the day before you have even met may end up giving them cold feet. 

4. Avoid stalking them on social media. While it may be tempting to spend a few hours going through their social media profiles, this might make you seem like a stalker. Remember, you have plenty of time to learn more about each other. 

5. Stay safe online. We have all read those horror stories about online dating. This is why you should only ever meet in a public place. 

• When the time has come to meet in person, tell your family or a friend where you are going so that they can check up on you if needed. 

6. Meet somewhere comfortable. If you choose somewhere that makes you feel comfortable, you’ll be more relaxed and able to enjoy yourself more. When you’re more relaxed and enjoying the date, you also make a better first impression. 

7. Avoid talking about your ex. Even if your ex did break your heart, your new squeeze does not need to know. And you may come across as though you are not yet over them. 

8. Offer to pay. Whether you are male or female, this is the modern world where we are all equal. Even if you don’t end up paying for the whole date, it is polite to offer to pay for at least your own expenses. 

9. You can be selective. Even if you’ve been single for a while, you don’t have to go on a date with the first person who asks, especially if you’re not feeling a connection during your messages. 

• This also goes for the date itself: avoid feeling pressured into going home with someone or to agree to a second date if you aren’t feeling it. 

10. Avoid making them your world. You may have met the one, and it’s natural to want to spend as much time together as possible. However, it’s important that you don’t forget about everyone else in your life, or the hobbies or pastimes you used to enjoy. 

• These are all things that make you who you are, and without them, you are not going to be the same person. 

If you’re looking for love online, these strategies can help you navigate the world of online dating. Online dating can be a minefield but finding ‘the one’ will be worth the effort.

The post 10 Tips for Online Dating appeared first on DuckboardsAndStilts.com.