First dates attract a lot of attention. The internet is full of advice for what to do when you’re going out with someone for the first time. However, less is said about second dates, even though they’re usually more important in determining the future of your love life.
On a first date, you may be so anxious that it’s difficult to be yourself. You may also be too distracted to listen well. Your next encounter may be your first real opportunity to relax and get to know each other.
Give second dates the attention they deserve. Try these tips for deciding on second dates and making them successful.
Deciding If You Want a Second Date
You still have plenty of time before you need to make any life changing decisions. It may be worth going out again as long as you both like each other even a little.
Keep these tips in mind:
1. Lighten up. Do you tend to rehash each moment of a date looking for things you wish you did differently or finding flaws in someone else? Try letting go of minor details. Focus on whether there was any promising chemistry.
2. Stick to facts. On the other hand, you may be letting your imagination run away with you. Allow more time together before you’ll know if there’s any potential for pursuing a long-term relationship.
3. Call a friend. It can be difficult to be objective when your emotions are involved. Talk about your experience with family and friends you trust. Their input may help you to make wiser decisions.
4. Act promptly. Maybe you had a wonderful time, but you panic when it’s time to say goodbye. You’re unsure how your date feels, or you wonder how long to wait before calling them again. Take a risk and suggest a second date. Your enthusiasm may be appreciated.
Making Your Second Date Successful
What do you do now that you’ve gotten your first date out of the way and you know a little bit about each other? Have fun and start exploring your compatibility.
Consider these strategies:
1. Raise the stakes. Was your first meeting a quick cup of coffee? Share a full meal this time or hang out on the weekend when you’ll be able to stay out later.
2. Prepare for conversation. Keep the dialogue flowing. Have a few subjects ready to make small talk easier. Think about questions you want to ask and what information you’re comfortable sharing.
3. Follow up. One effective way to show your interest is to continue conversations from your first date. Let them know you care about their sick cat or their recent business trip.
4. Plan an activity. You might be more comfortable doing something on your date. You can learn about each other while you go kayaking or visit an art museum.
5. Stick to your budget. Dealing with money issues is part of dating. Avoid the temptation to impress others with lavish spending. Choose activities you can afford.
6. Pace yourself. Remember that your relationship is still new. Maintain your boundaries and respect your date’s feelings. Continue to protect your safety by meeting in public places, especially if you met online or haven’t known each other for long.
Second dates can be as exciting as first dates, but with fewer awkward moments. Learning to manage the early stages of a romance will help you to understand what you’re looking for and build a solid foundation for your life as a couple.