Don’t Let Couple Envy Destroy Your Relationship

Do you feel jealous of other couples and their relationships? Couple envy is a common concern. It’s important to remember that things are not always as they seem! Those other couples may or may not have the relationship you perceive. And even if they do, it doesn’t mean that their relationship is “better” than yours.

Your relationship might not be perfect in every way, but there is joy in working things out and strengthening your bond.

If you’re trying to deal with couple envy, consider these tips:

1. Understanding couple envy. Couple envy refers to the feelings of jealousy you have after seeing another relationship.

• The envy can stem from seeing a couple that has better communication or more wealth. Envy can also come from seeing couples who have children while you struggle with infertility. It’s also a frequent concern if you see couples that seem to never fight or have issues.
• Jealousy can arise any time that you compare your relationship to another relationship.

2. Reality versus fiction. Although other couples may seem to have perfect relationships, psychologists note that they’re often hiding their issues.

• Couples who claim they never fight or never spend time away from each other may not be sharing the truth. Psychologists mention that it’s difficult for others to judge the real nature of a relationship from a distance.
• Even close friends and family members may not be aware of the true nature of the couple’s relationship. It’s easy to hide faults and issues from the public’s eye. It’s also easy to create the illusion of perfection by deliberately discussing positive aspects and ignoring the negative ones.
• It’s important to remember that relationships differ, so you can’t expect to have the same one as another couple.

3. Understanding the source of envy. Psychologists mention that, at the heart of many cases of envy, is a missing element in your own relationship. Are you jealous of other couples who spend time together because you rarely see your partner?

• If you see something in another couple’s relationship that is missing in your relationship, then envy can take over.
• Instead of allowing jealousy to take control, use this as a learning experience. What can you do differently to change the missing elements of your relationship?
• By identifying the source of your envy, you can work on eliminating it.

4. Envy can’t be ignored. Researchers have found that trying to ignore envy doesn’t work. It’s not possible to simply wish away the feelings of jealousy. But you can turn your focus toward learning more about yourselves and your own relationship instead.

• Use the envy as a learning tool to explore your own emotions. It can also help you reassess your past. Envy can also help you figure out why you’re dissatisfied with your relationship.

5. Interacting with other couples. It’s important not to let your jealousy affect your ability to interact with other couples. Envy isn’t always easy to hide, and it can hurt others. If you’re jealous of another couple, then it’s crucial to monitor your words and actions. You don’t want to hurt your friendship because of envy.

6. Awareness of your situation. You can reduce or eliminate your feelings of envy by focusing on the positive aspects of your own relationship. Do you have a partner who helps with housework, makes you coffee every day, and listens to your boring work stories?

• You may not realize that other couples may be jealous of your relationship!

Couple envy doesn’t have to consume your life. Use these strategies to identify it, move past it, and let the blessings of your own relationship be your focus – not someone else’s.