Why Are We So Hard on Ourselves?

We live in a negative world. Turn on the news for any major metropolitan area and you will see daily stories of murder and other tragedies. Several years ago, a television station tried to broadcast only good news. The show was a flop. People expect news to be bad.

This is a large reason why we are hard on ourselves. Society trains us to think with a negative spin. Our parents teach us to be cautious which we interpret as don’t trust anyone. This is an immediate bias whenever we meet someone new.

We can also be hard on ourselves because we fear the outcome if we aren’t. If we get our hopes up too high, we’ll be shattered when we are wrong. You do things at work because you know if you don’t your boss may come down hard on you. These fears are very strong and are central to how many of us were raised as kids. This is not to say our parents were bad for doing this. They were taught to be that way by their parents.

Even in school, if you do something that other kids are not fond of, you will likely take some heat for it. This could be in the form of verbal backlash, or it could even get physical. Unless you are the alpha personality, you can expect some pain.

Is there a way to reverse this process and stop being so hard on ourselves? It is not easy but, it’s not impossible either. It’s going to require a shift in your thought processes. Anytime you feel a negative thought stirring, make an effort to turn it into something positive.

The process of transforming yourself is going to take time. Don’t rush it. You need to reinforce positive messages within yourself and do it frequently. Over time, the positive thoughts will take center stage and push the negative ones out, or at least, make them less prevalent.

Don’t get discouraged if you revert to your old ways when trying to make changes. They have been ingrained in you for a long time. These habits are going to take some time to break. That is all they are, too. Habits can be changed with some amount of effort on your part. Keep an open mind and know that better days will come for you. Don’t be afraid of the changes.