Unfortunately, most relationships fizzle out for one reason or another. It’s amazing when a relationship actually works out, and so, this is what we inevitably strive for. But the journey to healing in between one relationship and a new one is a rocky road.
As a result, learning how to get over a relationship that didn’t work out is a highly valuable skill!
Use these strategies to overcome the end of a relationship and rise from the ashes stronger than ever:
1. Break off all contact. The best way to get over a relationship is to remove that person from your life completely. Of course, if you have children with the other person, a complete elimination of all communication isn’t possible, but you can limit it to a minimum.
- No texts, social media contact, emails or phone calls. Get rid of any photographs. Tell them their stuff is in a box in front of the garage door.
- If you can’t bring yourself to get rid of photographs or other mementos of your relationship, at least put them in a box and put it in the attic for now.
2. Find a new way to fulfill your needs. Your relationship partner satisfied some need, or they wouldn’t have been in your life in the first place. Think about the benefits you received from the relationship.
- It might have been friendship, emotional support, financial support, sex, an activity partner, intellectual stimulation, or any other benefit you received. Start working on new and healthy ways of satisfying those needs.
3. Own Your mistakes. No one is perfect in a relationship. Your ex made mistakes. You made mistakes. Acknowledge them and learn from them. Each failed relationship provides the opportunity to be better the next time around.
4. Start a self-improvement project. When a relationship ends, you’re likely to find yourself with more free time than previously. This is a great time to get in shape, read a book that will take your life to the next level, or learn a new skill.
- We tend to date people at our own level. That’s just where we feel comfortable. Improve yourself, and you’ll feel more comfortable dating others who show some of the same qualities as your new, improved version of yourself.
5. Create a new list of attributes for your next partner. What did you learn from your last relationship? Make this list while your last relationship is still fresh in your mind. Consider these questions:
- What qualities do you need or desire in a partner and a relationship?
- What qualities in a partner and relationship do you want to avoid in the future?
6. Explore. You have more freedom now than you did during your relationship. Try some new activities.
- Date someone that isn’t your normal type.
- Delve into some topics, ideas, and activities that interest you, but have remained unexplored. Maybe it’s time to look into Buddhism, take a yoga class, or learn how to snowboard.
7. Establish a new social routine. One of your major sources of human interaction is now gone. How are you going to make up for that loss? You might want to spend more time alone for a while, but you’ll still need other people to interact with on a regular basis.
8. Take your time. There’s no rush. Jumping from one relationship to the next is rarely a good idea. Take your time and enjoy your new single status.
Relationships end for a variety of reasons. And the end of every relationship has a recovery period. This period of time can be used to great advantage. It’s a wonderful time to work on yourself and do a little exploring. You can come back better than ever and ready to love again.